The goal is definitely not that the player should need to produce a lot of buildings just because their species likes them being on the same planet. Rather, it should be that the player needs them anyway and might decide where... So perhaps species should like a lot less buildings so that stability boosts aren't a motivation to make lots of them. Local dislikes are probably still OK, though, as that won't inroduce a motivation to produce a lot of buildings everywhere...
There are also policies specifically for adjusting how much effect species likes and dislikes have on stability (liberty and conformance), and for boosting stability via various other means, like exporting luxury specials, artisan workshops for artistic species, martial law, terror suppression, indoctrination, environmentalism, dream recursion, diversity and racial purity. Perhaps try some of these before conclusing that it's too difficult to keep planets stable without building spam...They help your influence budget. Centralization is a great boost if you have a strong supply network. Balance also helped me a lot. Anyway you need the slots first.
The AI definitely needs to be aware of the new mechanics.